when you're gone

hey.

i guess my mum is not taking the loss of my aunt very well,
it's like duh right shilah, she's your mum's sis that you're talking about.

stop crying already.
she's gone to a better place looking after us mum.

& to dearest uncle:
don't worry, we're still family.
we'll not forget you.
to dearest cousins, be strong
she will be watching you ,looking after you all.

thanks aunt for all the care you've given me.
thanks for looking after me when i was young, when my parents were away.
i'm sorry for all the pain i've caused too.

i don't know what to do and i felt weak inside.

i'm hating 2007, so much stuff happened!
ughh!

all over

tomorrow shall be one whole of a ride for me.
will be running all over the place after school since need to get ready for
my aunt's religious feast or 'kenduri' ( mly )
will be damn busy & tiring.

and thus, i'm sooooo sorry that i won't be able to come for work tomorrow.
aaaaaahhhhh, ohh no.

hope all been good people.

rest in peace, you've gone to a better place.

my immortal

nothing much to say.
everything ends here for my aunt.
my aunt passed away this morning.

thanks.

coma

social psychology class was fun even though it's 4 hours of lectures.
knew most of the people in my class even before class officialy started.
formed a group of 5 for the project soon to come.
wei hao, azizah, janet, mark & me.

mark is a funny guy!
lecturer gave us a break and so, we ( the girls ) went to buy bubble tea from library.
oh yeah, the lecturer allowed us to bring in food to class. finally..
and some of them even bring packed rice from canteen.
& so while we were siting doing our own business, mark took janet's bubbletea and drank it.
most of us were stunned at first.

he then took my chocolate milk tea and took a sip after returning janet's.
omgg, and even worse he exchanged my bubble tea for his weird
"i never drank before" drink.
& so, for like 30-mins of the class he drank my bubbletea while i drank his weird drink
hahahahaha, and finally we returned out drinks to each other
and he asked whether i still want his drink.
woooo!

and so, next week lesson will be in town !
meet 1 pm at Wheelock on wednesday people!
(:


-----------------------
today, god put my aunt to a very deep sleep.
wake up soon aunt!
we miss you.

don't give in to that blood clot which is stagnant in your brain.
even though it's 50/50 chance, but i know you're strong enough.

please wake up.

what i go to school for

hey!
didn't managed to update yesterday since i was pretty dead tired went i reach home.
school was alright on tuesday except for the fact that we got back most
of our papers and i'm sad to say i bloody failed 1 module.
damn you.

& now my confidence level is soo low that yeah,
i don't think i can get the specialisation that i want.
damn it.
i want my old nerdy' self back.
thanks to shiqi for the card!
*touched*
(:

went for break at canteen 3 before moving on to slacking at the library!
just slack/sit around the library till it's time for lessons.


edmund's sexy pose eh!


boyband style!


which one is my hand? ( hint: i'm not that dark)

oh yahh! by the way,
can you guys help me vote ?
hahahaha!

http://u.mediacorptv.com/hey/

search for ngeeann polytechnic & hunk no. 5 !
it's kenji by the way!

wooooo, just helping a friend!

fourier series

ride home on 184 was a nightmare.
esp the girl behind me ,secondary sch girl i must say since she was wearing her sch uniform.
but i'll be nice not to mention the sch name here.

back to it:
she sat behind me and was with her goddamn boyfriend.
and she have this high-pitched, super act-cute voice
like those that will seriously make you go nuts!
ok i can't say much for her voice since it's like god's creation.

but dear god,
i didn't know she hasn't see the bus bell in her entire life?
she was like making such a big fuss of pressing the bell!
"ehh sayang, i want to press the bell leh!"
omg. 0.0

and so she had to say "excuse me" to me and stretch herself
to press the bell on the handle thingy
since i was sitting the seat after the door, i have to avoid my head from being hit
by her bloody hand. I was totally "what in the world" by then.

& i actually remembered her name
caused i actually took the time to look at her name tag.
*slaps self*
surprisingly, her boyfriend was quite cute.
ohhhh dammit!

school was alright by the way.
got back 2 papers out of 5 and so far so good!
even though none of the 2 actually met my targetted marks!
another dammit.
i seriously need to find a place to hide my this term papers away from dad.
muahahahahahaha!


alan the womaniser! so num lah!

going off for a quick nap before doing tutorials.
oh yeah, it's actually 7 more weeks to exams.

i seriously need to ... die!


ling fei & me. i look sleepy.

midsummer madness

This fellow is wise enough to play the fool And to do that well craves a kind of wit.-Twelfth Night ( Act 3 Scene 1 60-61)

all the best to singapore poly students for their test this week!
and so, 2 weeks of term break was good
fun for the whole bloody 2 weeks.

it was quite fulfilling too as I was able to meet up with friends
& had great outings.
work was enjoyable to the core too.
& tried whole lot new stuff during staff chalet!
eg. climbing over the gates at 3am in the morning.
quite sad to see myself packing up my school stuff after like
2 weeks of "not touching any books" and thats where the fun-ness ends?
dieeee, few more weeks to exams!

gonna start my day off at 10am with DEL till 12pm.
followed by lunch & TP which ends at 3pm.
after which is EM3A, until 5pm.
oh my god!
save me by sms-ing or msn-ing me alright.

and ohhh, dammit
returning of DEL, TP & EM3A papers tomorrow!
die ehhh.

anybody wants to exchange life with a freak whois 180 tall ?
believe me, being OVERLY-FREAKISHLY tall is great.
i bet you know it too!

flexible eddy.

ps. i saw miss waheeda but i didn't say hi ! ( kill me )

winning women

dear god!
zaid glam actually has a new blog.
http://www.glam-the-in-thing.blogspot.com/
visit that site at your own risk! goodness gracious, save me
alright enough drama.

my day went off pretty good.
even though i didn't manage to go out with siti & faizah in the morning caused
i was still sleeping.
i'm useless, i know!

woke up around 2pm and watched tv before going off to work around 4.45pm!
begged dad to drive me to work but he was freaking lazy.
took 190 to town and oh,
i forgot to bring my dear friend (mp3) with me.
i swear i was bored to death.

naz came to visit during work
naz, come back soon!

dad picked me up from work and i think my cut is healing.
except that it's still bruised.

and oh, lido is plastered with whole lot of harry potter posters!
ok, i'm so enthu on watching it now!
12 july ehh!

me & shiqi was being weird just now during closing.
if the world do have magic, it would be great isin't it.
wands, broomsticks and whatsoever.
we'll be like: "eh, i've reach!" *parks broomsticks*
"eh, what's the brand of your wand?"
& many other nonsense which i guess, you guys don't wanna know.
we rock lah!

& payday faster come !
i'm broke and that's sad.


rachel chan wide smileee & shiqi erm..

whois the freak on the left!

work tomorrow at 6pm.
know how to reach me!

hope life been good people.

gelare

sadly, east coast outing was cancelled as dear azizah fell ill today!
hope you're good azizah!
rest well aite.

then went roaming around town being weird with dhiya.
met her around 230pm (expected) but i was late for like a few minutes or so.
700 came the moment i reached. luckily!

went gelare at far east to pig out and chatted for quite some time.
and yeah, i didn't finish my waffle lah.
damnn it.
9.20 bucks! remind me to go on tuesday in future.
half-price.
=\

i'm dead cheapo!

walked around town being weird and visited workplace twice!
saw cloud & zaid too.
before going off to mango at wisma planning to search for syadah
but to no avail.
so we decided to go off to taka instead.

bought few sushi and slack outside workplace till 6pm+
took 190 home and a funny incident happened while waiting for that
god-damn bus!
hahahaha i actually pushed dhiya way out of my path lah!
sorry eh.

walked to greenridge shopping centre to buy some stuff for mom.
dhiya accompanied me and yeah, talked about sec sch stuff while walking.
i wonder if stella gonna laugh her head off about what she did for the
sports day cheer!

woooo. pictures time!


waffles!

no pictures please!

peacee.

wooooo. (hahahaha)

hahahahahahah! (you know, i know)

ermm.

shiqi & dhiya

bought this cow/zebra stapler from artfriend.

omg!

working tomorrow.
know how to get me!

speak soon

early bird

believe it or not, shilah was late for 2-hours today.
i totally spaced about working full shift and woke up only at 1.30pm

when i'm suppose to start at like 1pm!
i'm seriously a goner!

& so, daddy was at the shop the moment i reached and he was pretty cool.

worked & disturbed xinyi occasionally
( eg. peeking from the back to see her sms )
before her mum came to fetch her for dinner.

working at night was pretty fine.

dad fetched me from work and had a great talk on the way home.
i guess i'm at the wrong too.
yup, sorry.

might be going to east coast tomorrow.
meeting them 1230pm at jurong east mrt station,
which i seriously hope i can make it in time.

and seriously, i have to pray/wish
that i will not bump into that unglam zaid
at east coast. haaaah

plus i'm kinda broke right now.


super-xinyi

"glammm"- quoted by zaid

it reads : "rachel chan, shilah, eunice was here."

S.O.B ( go figure! )

room on the 7th floor please.

tables turned

is it just me, or did i really saw my parents sitting down & talking to each other ?

term break coming to an end soon which also equals to getting back of common test papers.
which i know, i've badly done it.
but yeah, just have to re-sit for it.

& just hope examinations would be better.
i really need to set my mind straight.

changed new phone today since my sony ericsson Z520i died on me
which incredibly still have 8 unread smses before i could actually read it.

the bad things is that i'm not even 'mentally' prepared to change into a new phone since i really am comfortable with that Z520i.

oh well.

on a slight note:
please send a sms to me with your name since I've lost all my phonebook contacts.
cause i saved phonebook contacts in phone (z520i) memory.

how stupid.

innocence

i know what i'm doing.



i remembered when i was young, there's little things for me to worry.
everything was alright.
everything was perfect.
everything was just like a dream.
even when my mum/dad lay a hand on me, i know it's because they cared.
most probably, the only worry i had was the toys which i wanted so badly
& i will always get a surprise to see it on the table the next morning for no reason at all.

isin't always like that ?

fakeness doesn't heal.

sometimes, i think it doesn't pay to be nice.
but it's okay, i'm not asking for anything back.
that's not the whole point.
nothing last forever in this living world anyway.
i'll get through this.

siting at the edge of the sea in the middle of the night has taught me one thing.
problems come & go very quickly,
just like how the waves keep on coming back,
hitting the shore again & again.

falling from grace

day was alright.
laze around home before setting off for work which was, erm..
alright.

ok, seriously i have no freaking idea what to blog about.

& i have yet to pack anything for the chalet.
parents dont let me overnight lah! I guess the only way is to ignore their calls?
i don't know.
=\
(not looking forward much to it too.)
don't know.

have to wake up early tomorrow to pack then.
my room's door-lock is stuck for some reason & i can't seem to lock it.
damnnnnn!


eunice's cry! ( 1 week ago )


poor feets

falls back in time

i didn't know i actually suck in typing/writing my thoughts down,
like how i equally suck in telling/talking my thoughts out.

it's this moment of time that i actually kept quiet when i have something to say
cause i didn't want anybody/ any party to be angry and stuff like that at me.

but i guess it doesn't really matter anymore.
i seriously need to brain-wash myself & just yeah.

i'll throw my piece away then.

and fuck, i overslept & didnt go gym-ing with them!
i need to run. i need running.
i'll appreciate if people can leave me alone for this moment.

shilah is such a fucktard in some cases.

me, myself & i

i'll be my own reflection.


hello there freak.

self-destroyed

i don't even know what i'm trying to do now.

i should have been better.

i'm sorry.

undone & undid

i've still have much things undone now.

need to go & just get a life.
i have the urge to change blogskin for now.
dammit.

i need space. i wanna live alonee.

many thanks.
(:

kept in

for some reason,
i didn't go out of my room today.
well, i did went to the toilet & kitchen occasionally.

but other than that,
i just did my own things in my own room.

it's good to be just comfortable in your own place, like as if you really belong here.

mind was just too occupied & talked to the hamsters.
something which I havent do for ages.

i really hope you're well.

behind every man, there's always a story in their eyes.
no matter how battered they are, they tend to live life to the fullest.

behind every smile, there's always some tears.
it's just a matter on how they look on forward to better days.

happy people doesn't mean they've a 'worry-free'/carefree life.

i truly salute to those who are able to carve a smile during their tear ridden moments.

I want to be that strong.

mind vs. science

*word of advice: dont take pictures, when you're RUNNING!*

*second word of advice: never put 2 noobs together*

we actually took quite some time to figure out how to take a photo
using zaid's phone.

holidays is always fun when you're spending/enjoying it like mad!
went supper yesterday night, as in, the night before till like 4am ++.
had supper at River-Valley with zaid, edmund & shiqi!
hahahah supper was mad with Zaid's bloody antics.

laughed like mad!

and shiqi was shot by zaid like x10000000 times. hahahahah ok, i'm innocent for once!

after that we slowly walked to Edmund's area.
hang around the playground and stared at the hunted block around there.
seriously, we actually sat there for like quite some time to look.

hahaha and zaid was like .. dotss.
i sucked at description, really.

& naz actually chased after me & shiqi during work! ran from mccafe, isetan then back to the kiosk! hahahaha

will talk about that tomorrow!
need to get some sleep.

should do this more often!
yay!! (:

unsaid words

One day, when everything coming to an end for you.
When you're leaving everything behind forever.
what's gonna be your last words, last thoughts & eventually the last person on your mind?

what happens if you've much more truth to tell
your feelings to say
more tears to pour
and reveal all the unrevealed truth?

you're about to take the first step but suddenly, you're just a little too late.

regrets?
no.
but it's just soo sad, that you don't even know.

bao-ing!

if life is a play...
(:

pig out

Common test finally ended.

It feels like as if I've just seated for tsunami, never-ending & forever-taking papers.
at last, my freedom is back! but still, gonna do badly for this common test though.
i had too much fun. oh well..

after FOOP paper, when Seoul Garden at Marina with 1A3 people.
13 of us going around in groups is sure super-cool.
hahahaha.
booked seats at Seoul Garden since it's full-house and walked around for like 15-mins being weird
& also to withdraw money. $$$$$$$$$

Ate till we're like super full and also took alot photos in between!
hahahaha.
and I assure you, Edmund and Azizah can't see each other!
they'll start arguing.
even over the smallest stupid thing like,peeling of prawns.
dhiya peeled all prawns for me! yay!







SEOUL GARDEN

















was in Seoul Garden for like 3 hours before we move on to Raffles to buy doughnuts from doughnuts factory.
waited for like another 3 hours to get some bloody doughnuts.
even while waiting for doughnuts, we've made new friends!
hahaha the people who were lining up behind us were like super friendly!
should do this more often.
(:

the toilet in Raffles is always full.

got our doughnuts around 8pm ++ and went off to Airport to send Gavin off.
i don't know him lah, but heis my friend's friend.. soo yaa.. counted too!
Dhiya left us since she has to go home as it's already night.
soo off left me, azizah, janet & edmund to airport.
and ohh, we saw LingFei at Tanah Merah MRT. she's going to airport too so we went together!

saw my cousin at the airport and i was like 0.0!!
talked for awhile.
didn't take photos at the airport!
and i wanna go overseas alone someday!
like as in, solo departure, solo flight, solo living, solo-EVERYTHING!

being alone & start anew would be great.

kinda tired right now and there's work tomorrow!
you know how to reach me people!

there's this period of time when i said "i don't care anymore. heck! fail, fail lah."
but the truth, "i still care."

there's this period of time when i said, "fail? just retake lah."
but the truth is, "i suck and don't wanna go through it all over again."

there's this period of time when i said, "aiyahh, never mind still can make it."
but the truth is, "i ain't gonna make it."

there's also this period of time when i said, "never mind. still can pass."
when the truth is, " i didn't do a whole lot of question."

it's not like as if i didn't study.
i did.. i bloody hell did.
why do papers have to break me this way.
i just cant take it when my competency level is being tested.

everything will be so yesterday by tomorrow.
i'm fine.
(:

Just when things start to be going well for you,
life has to bring it down once again.

my uncle is a cripple now, both of his legs has to be amputated to knee length.
Alone at home since family rushed over to the hospital.
might be visitting him on sunday morning.

i'm kinda commentless & have a whole lot of feelings at once.

but everything gotta wait till i finish my papers.

off to getting a few mugshots.

till then;

ask me nothing.
life just been fucked.

ask me nothing & i'll be forever grateful.
i didn't know i was that bad till today.

presence of MIA-ing as of now.

much thanks & hope life been good for you.

great, just woke up from a short nap to see my table in a state of war.




















tranferred laptop to my study table as i was lazy to turn around every single sec.

and i prefer to listen to the music by using earphones instead since some bloody sister said it was too noisy. yeah right.








































more papers under the table.




















great, just great.

where should i start now?
I just hate it when i have to sit for like 5 bloody papers in one shot.

need to get back to getting things organise now. TP paper in few hours time. I've stopped revising for it already. been mugging on engineering maths for the past bloody hours.

oh god, please please please dont be sooo mean to me tomorrow.

not confident for any of the papers to make matter worse.

ok, maybe i shouldn't complain much but..

bloody hell.

hey!

ok, i'm exceptionally high right now and god knows why. Janet will punch me on monday as i've asked her to punch me. hahaha yeah i'm that high.

alright.

and so, had a long day today and didn't go gym-ing this morning. Woke up at 8am to continue studying and met Janet at 11am at Lot 1 to pass her the money i borrowed from her. hahah. thanks for helping me pay in the first place janet. and I must say Giordano was very busy today. Bought lunch at Lot 1 for family and took lrt home. Been ages since I last ride on the lrt. wooo.

reached home and ate lunch (packed food) with family but i didn't talk much. Quickly eat and went straight to my room to continue revision again. TP sucks! I can't remember the formulas. I'm losing my touch on memorising stuff. yup, i suck.haha k.

drank 2 cans of redbulls while studying to keep me up & awake. I seriously need it. I bought like 2 cartons and I don't think 8 bottles can last me for 5 days papers? yeahh, might be getting more.

Did 2 past year papers, and might re-do it again tomorrow, for now, gonna slowly memorise all the formulas while i'm in bed. yeahh, and might generally doze off to dreamland ever so often!

maybe will take a break first and start memorising at 4am. by hook or by crook, need to complete TP revision by tonight. and do another round of past year papers tomorrow and then start on maths revision at the same time. (*plans)

felt slightly confident about TP now, but need to do alot more and this is only the first paper.

and i did this while doing one of the past year papers;

1000kHz - 10kHz = 950kHz.

after which i did the entire question wrongly and needed like half an hour to figure where i went wrong. gahhhhhhhh!

Did you know that shilah stills put books under her pillows when she's asleep?
she believes that she 'might' actually study it while asleep & in her dreams.

stupid i know. 0.0

dear god.

please make me better.
i'm not confident of anything right now.
esp when I kept on making the same fucking mistakes again.

this sucks.

Friday, can you quickly come ?!
so that i can start slacking & have my life back.
at least friday is something that i can look forward too.
yay!

o.0