on board

shilah-topia has been awaken once again
since the blogger has came back 9am this morning
& yup, she's missing the island of eagle!

the 12-hour journey there was such a pain in the ass
but the songs being played was cool
umbrella, akon, fallout-boys, justin timberlake, timbaland
& more! damn coooooool

anyways, langkawi was fun!
even though weather was very bad on our first day there
where all watersports/cablecar & everything has to be delayed
& finally cancelled!

but i'm sure the girls had fun of their own,
you know what i mean. :D

food was great!
black pepper crab/ tomyam/ lemon chicken & all that!
me & janet were like pigs on our breakfast!
makannnn !

on our second day,
feri-ed to Coral Island!
even though it's raining cats&dogs,
we bunk on the deck and had fun taking pictures!
did i told you that i falled onto yishan, cause the feri was moving so fast
and it kept on going "left&right"
first time snorkelling & it was ace!
trust meee, plus i think i gave all out during the camp

siqi, janet & me snorkelled
& we shouted the fishes to "go away!"
while others were like "i want to see fish! where?"
quite scary to swim when school after school of fish were like swimming around you!
& oh, we saw quite a number of sharks! 0.0

quite a number of bus 2 people had a jump!
hahahah, we lined up in one straight row
& we jumped from the deck into the sea!
which was quite high above the sea
damn fun, and the feeling of sea water going inside your nose
was painful!

followed up by trekking to the amazing/cooling waterfall!
oh yeah, before that there were tons of monkeys hanging around.
scary =\

third day, was the sunniest out of the 3 days!
went on the banana-boat which to me it quite boring -.-
it was raining while we were waiting!
& norman said "lets hug each other to keep each other warm!"

btw, it was just norman, deric, dhiya, azizah & me that banana-boated
after that, followed by searching of seashells & photos.
the beach telematch that the teachers organised was lamee!
& dammit, we lost to bus 3 by few seconds

jet-skied not once but twice! :D
first run was to ski dhiya around
oh yeah, i drove both ! wooooo
& i was soo scared that the passenger will fall off lah!
i kept on saying "dhiya, hold on tight!!!" each time i accelerate!

azizah was like telling me directions
hahahah, weird lah
& i drove/accelerate faster this time round
that until there's alot of bumps when the wave hit us
& my butt hurts like hell !

some falls over when they jet-skied but we didn't !
i'm a good controller of the jet-ski lahh!
& some guys were telling me before i jet-ski
"ehh, it's difficult to control the ski leh"
wthh

cable car was fun!
hahahaha, and we were standing on the suspended bridge
"isit just me, or is this thing moving?"
so when somebody walks, you can actually feel the movement!
& we were 705-meters above sea level!
yayyy! & i'm almost deaf. -.-

some year 1's asked me,"you're malay?"
the bus driver asked me & yishan,
"you're malay?"
like heellloooooo ?

& oh, on the way home while heaving our breakfast break
everybody was going inside the bus when suddenly the bus-door
shut itself against me -.-
the stunned me just stood there,
bus driver: "give greetings! later the door never open!"
me:" huh open lahhh!"
bus driver: " give greetings! faster, later never open how?"
me: "greetings"
*door opens*

lame lahh.

then it's home sweet homeee!
plus, i'm sunburnt & my body aches!
my face hurts & i've turned brownnnn

where to upload 300+ of pics ah?

I WANNA GO BACK LANGKAWI

on the road of adventure

alrighty!
blog will be down for a week,
since the blogger is going to langkawi

take care & hope life will be good for the week

bye singapore,
hello langkawi!

you're gonna be missed!

summerlove

just came back from 'shopping' with parents
dad was soo sleepy that he drove us home
even though, i have yet to complete my shopping list
dammit, have to rush everything tomorrow then

after shopping, went to my cousin's house
just to hang around for awhile!
& so, i played with my niece

she kept on giving me toys to play with her
balloons, balls and er, dolls!
which i'm traumatised/scared with
i'm scared of dolls, especially those that look damn real ones!
like really perfect, those kinda of dolls
yeah, i'm a scaredy-cat


"ehh take picture! pose please!" *runs*

swing swing

i'm like a head taller than my mom

:D

& oh yeah

A friend whom i made during the orientation day in year 1.
I'm so glad that we got into the same class.
People were thinking that the both of us knew each other
since secondary school days. HAHA. =/
There's one day when we fell sick.
She bought 1 dozen of tissue and we shared among the two of us.
Despite being sick, we were thinking of eating Tom Yam and Ban Mian.
And in times of need, she will be there for me.
We got into the same IS class in semester 1.2
Somehow, we think that we're fated. HAHA.
Formed a group in IS with her motivation. HEH.
However, we're not in the same class in year 2.
But we still meet up with each other for lunch and etc.
Shared on a lot of topics such as motivation and many more.
Although we're going to be in different option next year,
i hope we will still remain as how we are now.
Thanks for tolerating with my craps, nonsense, blurness and etc.
You're such a good friend that i'll never forget! ((((((((:
-an extract from azizah's blog

i remembered azizah hit me using that 1 dozen of tissues lah!
hahahahaha, where all the good time go to ?

thanks azizah ! :D

pre-packing

i took a photo today
headed down to ICA to change my passport photo
& i spent around 4-hours there,
waiting & stoning before the wait is over.

but kinda fun i guess,
since dad drove me there and i do stuffs alone!
while dad, mum & sis headed somewhere else
& i just had to call them up when i'm done

the food there in ICA is atrocious
omg

have yet to pack for langkawi
azizah & me now discussing on msn
thinking on what to bring for langkawi
ok maybe, she the one who's thinking & telling me!
i'm too lazy to think now
you rock, azizah! :D

i hope my backpack is huge enough for everything
i don't want to look like a turtle!


mum, can i can i can i ?

goo dad

hope all's good !

it's official, we're taking over

holidays are officially here !

semester 2.1 just end like that
time flies super fast for these few weeks
but i'm glad that i've made some new friends
even though it's pretty short

however, as it seems
results gonna be damn shitty for this semester
i didn't aim that much/high from myself too.
cause it's my own mistakes too
not doing tutorials in time,
'ponning' tutorials/lectures,
& what other blahh!

but it's too late to regret now isin't it ?
but yeah, no more slacking for next semester

holidays so what's up ?

langkawi first up on monday ( will be away for 1 week )
skates, cycling, beach & more on the list
work

any other ideas ?

for those taking their paper tomorrow,
ALL THE BEST!
& for others who just started school,
ALL THE BEST & yeah, semangat !

:D

ha ha ha

i feel like killing myself, really
so stupid

i just hate it when i forgot a formula
or when i made careless,stupid mistakes!
ahhh, dammit!

plus, i had stiff neck today
which makes 'turning of the head'
a painful task

last paper tomorrow
and i so not prepared!

& i made a bet with dhiya
hah

*drops onto bed*

drown them out

i don't rate my friends
i think it's unfair to rate my friends.
that's why i don't make one of those
'how well you know me' test.

as in, anybody can be my friend.
it's easy to be a friend
but it's not easy to be a good friend.

knowing a person well, doesn't matter much
it's how you're there for that friend/person that counts.
but i can't disagree to the fact that
favoritism is always there.

well, that's what i thought

anyways, done with ACDA revision.
the only module which i think it quite alright,
can't say much

talked to cousin about her attachment stuff
her's will be in China ( 0.0 )
& she rejected it
cause she prefers local attachment.

going off to bed now since my head is spinning

thursday and we're done !

hope you're good

hold on

we don’t have time left to regret
it will take more than common sense
so stop your wondering take a stand
theres more to life than just to live

cause an empty room can be so loud
its too many tears to drown them out

when it falls apart
& your feeling lost
all your hope is gone

have faith & restart

motivation for waking up in the morning

DEL paper was crap.
sooo crappy that i started to write crappy answers
hah, whatever lah,
i'm done & over with it.

just hope for the best!

section A was difficult while section B was seemingly quite easy.
bahhh, whatever!

azizah & dhiya laughed at me when i tried speaking in malay!
maybe the way i put my sentence was weird
ahhhh! that sucks

the journey home with dhiya was atrocious
we sat at the very far back & i was the middle one.
then there's this 2 human that were comparing their DEL answers.
& i was trying very hard to sleep, but listening to them
comparing their answers were like wth ?
sms-ed dhiya : " i swear if murdering people is not a crime, i would have kill them"

then went to plaza to buy some snacks.
then we visited Missy Donut
& i swore the workers there wanted to kill me.

we stood at the very front, looking at them packing the donuts.
at the cashier, there's this mom & daughter choosing their donuts.
me & dhiya, stood there and look ( kaypohs )
then,

me: " since when did the donuts get smaller than before ?"
*drinking bubble tea & stared at the people who turned around*

it was only meant for dhiya to hear,
but the cashier, daughter & mom duo turned around and looked at me!

me : " oppps, omg did i say it too loud ?"
dhiya: *laughs*

& we quickly walked off to save my ass

i need to plan what to do for my semester break,
wooooot! skating, cycling, swimming, beach!
ice-skateeeee! after exams k!

back to earth now:
alright, slept at 12pm and just woke up at 6pm!
now, all awake to study for ACDA.
2 more to go!


oh yar, i was studying and was erasing something
i guess i erased kinda hard & violent that the table was shaking soo badly
and this card dropped from the top shelf onto my head!
-.-

digital ic terminology

-shilah™ says:
azizahh
-shilah™ says:
DEL ..
-shilah™ says:
omg
` SILENT TREASURES - says:
your's omg.
` SILENT TREASURES - says:
mine omg omg omg omg ler.
` SILENT TREASURES - says:
HURHURHURHURHURHUR.
` SILENT TREASURES - says:
i'm just leaving it all to fate!

oh god! please please let us have an easy DEL paper tomorrow!
we need it ! ok maybe, I NEED IT !

please please ! i need it big time !

i've been good for a year. ( right ? )
ohh come on!

ahhhh! screw DEL, die die DEL!
so much for "Damn Easy Lah!" ( DEL )

more dead reports about the paper itself tomorrow.
amin.

diverted attention

alright, so i woke up at 12pm today
instead of the planned 8am
heh. whatever!

afterwhich, i went to cook as i was dead hungry.
managed to cook myself some spaghetti
i can cook eh !

so now, staring at DEL book starting backwards.
so it's gonna be chapter 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
& some past year exams papers
all by tomorrow. kamikaze
-.-

yesterday night, i took a cab whose cab driver lives in the same block as me

& yes, azizah ! happy birthday!



hope all's good!

stay the same

feelings come & go,
so does people.

things change, thinkings change & people change.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy,
for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves;
we must die in one life before we can enter into another.

even you're going through some changes, shilah

so what will stay the same?

(& yes, ct i need to talk to you.
it's about thessa from hangout)

faster than bacteria

maths paper tomorrow
safe to say, the 1st paper among everything.
i'm not fully prepared though cause
i've yet to set to exams mood

now i know how it feels like to go to 'war' unprepared
like how the russians did during world war 1.
how they were short of weapons & even proper clothing/armour for war.

& did they win in the end ?
no.

they blamed the Tsar (king) for their loss
but do i have anyone/anything to blame for my loss later?

i will always be 'shut down' when people asked me,
where's the old hardworking shilah i know?
long gone

plus, i don't see myself as hardworking all these while

best of luck anyways

when you look me in the eyes

the damage is done,
now it's your turn to cry shilah.
& don't worry,
maybe it's just stress & thinking too much

take an aim

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

life is wild

i saw a dragonfly fighting for its life when i stepped out of my house
it had a broken wing & was down on the ground
trying to fly, plus it was directly outside my doorstep

wanted to help, but don't know how to ?
sooo, i just walked passed it & now,
i kept on thinking about it's fate while studying
-.-

i can't concentrate now.
i didn't know i was that selfish, kill me

another interesting thing that happened was that,
while i was walking to the bus-stop
i have to walk through this bukit panjang nature reserve
& while walking, i saw a komodo dragon ?
or whatever huge lizard that was

soo, i was searching through my bag for my phone to snap a picture of it
to realise that my phone was in my pocket!
by the time i found my phone, the lizard was GONE !
this is one of the reason why i hate to wear cargo pants,
i'll put everything, everywhere in every pocket

yishan had a hard time finding me in the library
cause i gave the wrong info!
hahahha, level 3 instead of level 4!
sorry eh! & so we did something cute to find each other

phone!

shilah: "ehh i saw you, come up!"
yishan: " i'm coming down now.. level 3 right?"
shilah:"i don't know what level ehh! just come up, i saw you just now. you're at the stairs now?"
yishan: " come up as in go up?"
shilah:"yaa"
yishan:" okk, going up now"

*saw each other while still on phone*

reminded me of some game where this person has to give direction to a blind partner

kill meeee, i'm dead sleepy and don't feel like studying
bad bad bad

remember me this way

intensive started

ok, everything was alright and cheery
till "i-dont-know-what-happened" &
my mood went down dramatically.

which is seriously, quite sad ?

or maybe it's just me thinking too much again
like i always do.

the more i think about life,
the worse it gets



this video cracks me up ! retarded FRIENDS!

so say goodbye now

blame it on me

i understand that there are some problems
& I am not too blind to know
all the pain you kept inside you
even though you might not show
if I can apologize for being wrong
then it’s just a shame on me

i’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

even though the blame’s on you
i’ll take that blame from you

you can put the blame on me
'said you can put the blame on me
you can put the blame on me

i'm sorry that it turns out this way

there's a stranger in my life

& so, exams week start from this moment
scared, no ?
worried, no ?

i guess there's something wrong with me

i need studygroup eh,
there's still some blanks in my notes
oh shit.

work today was alright, yup!

eunice with her new shades!

big eyes

small eyes or no eyes at all

totally whatever-ish

hope life life been good

nobody believes

dreams will just be dreams, right ?
dreams as in 'sleeping/napping' dreams and not those ambition dreams.
i have no idea why i was having such bad nightmares for these past few days

first, i dreamt that i jumped down from a high-rise building.
i woke up just before i reach the bottom, hard concrete surface.
after which i started to study for paper again,
scared and telling myself it's just a dream
( edmund lim banned me from taking naps now )

secondly, i dreamt just the night before my FOOP paper
that my parents threw me out of the house
nothing but just a loner me with nowhere to go.
i can even even remember how scared i felt,
even though it's just a dream.

to think about it again now, i've always wanted to live alone
i've always wanted to be free from all these parent's trap,
to be myself, leading my own life

it's like what've always wanted but i saw myself being
lost, desperate, scared & seriously nowhere to go

i guess that how we tend to work isin't it ?
if we have this, we'll want that & others.
if we have that & others, we'll want to have this.
if so, what really makes me happy?

what really makes you happy ?

unlike any other

unlike any other National Day,
i have to spend it this year
by mugging for papers.
-.-

people are wearing red & white,
while i'm wearing black.
i'm dead jealous

& the worst thing is that i don't get what the hell
i'm trying to study is about.
bloody hell

string [] strNoorhashilah = new life [0];

i need a new life.
foop is like hell & it's this friday!

other papers are according to the following dates:
& i can't believe i was actually staring at the dates
when i'm suppose to be going woo-ha on singapore's national day!

after all these dates, will be LANGKAWI
nothing but just the breeze, the sea & friends!
woop!

*dreams*

ain't going nowhere

right, i always have bad dreams when i'm sick
bahhhh, but thank god i felt better now.

ok, sooo tomorrow is National Day eve
but i'm gonna spend my day studying.
never mind, exam coming = semester break coming.
yup yup!

but i've been suffering from lack of sports
these few weeks
oh yeah, i called it the "lackofsportif"
gonna jog my fever off tomorrow morning

i want some tats!
i'm sure god will kill me for saying that

oh dear god


nice tattoo!

ignorance

i guess i'm pretty much ignorant to my surroundings as well
well, to a certain extent.

i tend to hurt myself w/o knowing it ?
like how my hand was bleeding on the way back home yesterday
& i only realised about it in 184, trying to wipe away/ stop the bleeding
by using the other hand.

cause i didn't bring any tissues, hah
& the thing was that i didn't feel any pain at first
till i realised it.

fell sick today & mom 'caught' me
she asked me not to go to school & just rest at home.
called up ling fei and she was pretty shocked at my croaking voice.
hahahahaha, wth!

shilah, you don't have the time to be sick
being sick = wasting of time resting

& i've tried my best

ribbit

parents went malaysia to help out with uncle
went home to see sister doing her normal revision

didn't feel like doing anything,
i'm gonna be sick real soon

strike 1: sore-throat
strike 2: cough
strike 3: flu/running nose

not long before my temperature start to rise i guess.
not before i stuff myself with panadol!
i have no time to even fall sick.

ate something new on the way home today!
visited bukit panjang plaza after like ages of not even stepping.
Ate newspaper wrapped fish & chips at "the naked fish"
kinda cool since it wrap your fish & chips in newspaper!

ok maybe not newspaper, but some paper that they made it looked like newspaper.
cool uh, or maybe some simple suaku-ness.
quite worth for $2.80,
but i've tasted nicer fish&chips for sure.



ps: i already ate most of the fries by the time i walked
from the basement of bukit panjang plaza to the
3rd level to sembawang cd shop!

ermmm, slept in the library while others were revising.
other than that, life was being such a dread for today.

i better get some rest before starting revising,
and i sound like some freak/croak right now.
idiot.

point of view

the cab drove pass ngeeann at 2am++ just now &
i realised that ngeeann looked very scary at night
i don't know, maybe it's because:

1) i don't have a sense of belonging there
2) i went through some life-changing experience ( as in bad )
3) i started to see a decline in my attitude towards studying
4) i still wish i should have stayed in jc longer ( regrets )
5) i dread going to school
6) maybe it's because it's in the wee morning
7) blahhh, a typical "don't know"

but however, the people whom i met there made me strong.
many thanks.

ughhhhhhh. maybe i really don't like you.

there she goes again

i remembered:
i kept on singing the song "there she goes"
during school while slacking with azizah & janet
which makes us one-by-one getting addicted to it.

anyways,

kinda weird, that i felt kinda great when my parents knows
how i actually felt.
like all the blahhh, they do against me

i'm gonna live my life according the way i want it now
whether you like it or not

life was alright so far, i guess
since i have nothing to hide
my room is filled with random useless stuff
search all you want

& oh, work was alright too
kinda busy though, as any usual saturday would be

i have yet to start revising!

hope life been good!

vanished

life is good isin't it ?
when you're happy with what you get,
your parents just doesn't agree with you

the moment i received some good news,
i'll share with my friends rather that you
why?

cause i know, you'll be saying why i didn't choose aero
the supposedly 'good' one
the one which you've planned for me
soo what if it's good ? i don't want to be good
i just want something/somewhere to get far far far away from you

like today,
i reached home to find both screaming their hearts out at me
all the wrong assumptions you made out of me
i'm not as fucking bad as you think
i'm your fucking daughter for goodness sake!

i'm tired of giving in
giving in doesn't makes me a weak-ling or some vulnerable idiot
there's a thin line separating weak and giving in

just let me live my fucking life
i'm shilah, a human who has her wants/needs.
not some bloody goody-good-shoes follower of you both!

i confess my need to be free
why isin't so hard for you to understand?
why isin't so hard for you to let me live the way i want?
why isin't so hard for you guys to trust me?

I HATE YOU!
I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU SEARCH THROUGH MY ROOM.
LOOKS AT MY FUCKING BANK BOOK AND WHAT NOTS.

to those who says, i'm in the wrong:
maybe i am.
but seriously, forget everything you know about me.
this isin't high-school.
i'm sick of all the craps.

you both just sucks at showing how much you care for me.
can't you see in my eyes, how much i hate you both now?

fuck

school was alright.
came down to school for IS today!
& yes, it was the last solo presentation and that marks the end of social psychology!
goodness yayness!

anyways, the presentation was alright.
and hahahahah, tutor asked me where i'm working.
yup yup.

after which, 3 of us:
azizah, janet & me
went off to eat and study at macs.

the two 'tai-tai' wannabes who doesn't want to study!

two 'tai-tai'

looks around

to see one of them wanting to be a teacher!

ok, i'm confused.

alright, and i'm damn pissed now.
if talking doesn't solve everything, i'll fight.
like seriously, in this world you think you can do everything?
you're the big boss ? the whole world revolves around your bloody carcass?
stop being so damn childish please.
you're not even fit for the game.

stop being lame by saying, we've not seen the real you
all of us now has not yet to see the real anyone

STOP BRINGING MY FRIENDS DOWN

fuck off bloody fucker
enough is enough.

and now it's not about it,
it's about you throwing vulgarities at me
that's my god-damn problem with you right now
welcome back to loserville mister
it just shows how badly you're being brought up.

stop fucking my god-damn life!
by which i'll shall be gone if talking doesn't solve everything.
many thanks

& i can't stand my fucking parents who kept on calling me
i know what the bloody, fucking hell i'm doing !

sorry for leaving w/o telling though, have to rush home!