differently

worked in the day-shift today.
was damn glad that farid came last minute,
caused can you imagine only me & jasmine came to work?
& jasmine was supposed to make gelato.

but the actualy fact was that, farid saw the schedule wrongly.
haha! he was supposed to start work at 6pm, but he came at 2pm.
whatever it is, thank you for helping.

work was ok, i guess.
the munchkin donuts people were cool too.
hahaha, they kept on borrowing our 'bell' & they rang it damn soft.
till i asked farid to go to their kiosk to ring the bell. as in, help.

some people are easily conned in trading items.
the munchkins donuts people exchanged a half-dozen of donuts
for 3 cups of gelato. hah! wthh.

hohoho, & daddy came to visit halfway through the shift.
quite cool since he asked how i've been doing. =\
by 5pm i was already dead beat. & just kept quiet the whole way through.
& today was the earliest time i reach home after work. can't take it.


hah!

oreo is the best, seriously.

the one who made the trade possible!
despite the fact that we were being conned in return.

totally forgot bout this song,
till somebody randomly played edmundyue's cd.

i'm super duper uber tired.
of everything.


let's try & save the last smiley.

ohmygahh

alright, retail therapy helps alot.
i just realised that few moments ago.

i think i practically didn't sleep the whole day
slept at around 3.45am ( i think)then, roll all over trying my best to sleep.
then 4am, mum woke me up for supper.
6am sis & dad was making so much noise that i was forced to just
stare at the ceiling while trying to sleep.
omg, then i had to wake up at 9am.

zombie who just came back from the dead was serving customers.
niceeee. plus the non-stop yawnings.

and the zombie was soo nice enough to try & cover up
the loss from yday night, that she eventually lost track and end up
having alot of 'excess' money. the more the better right. tsk!

went shopping after work & was pretty happy bout it.
okkk, enough shopping for school. nothing much anyways.

workkkk tomorrow from 1-6pm.
& i don't think i should work next week.

soo much better than began

i believe i'm the same
i get caried away
it's alright, i'm ok
i'm relieved i'm relaxed
i'll get over it yet.

the probability of me being able to wake up at 9am, seems super low.
it's 3.09am now & i've yet to sleep! oh well.

it's kinda good to know that,
you had everything once then some downfall where you lost everything
then try to build up your life again from whatever is left.
but sure enough, the pain of losing everything from your life hurts like hell.

i've always wondered which hurts more:
losing everything or,
have nothing at all.

but i only know, losing everything i once had was bad enough.
i don't want to go back there again.we're still trying to recover from it.
it's not a small sum.

why is life like this

please, tell me what to do to lighten up my load.
i have no fucking idea which hurts more.
i guess life might be peculiar at first glance, but thats just the enhance.
i'll be able to end all the pain, one day when the curtains fall.
one after another.

phy says:
u want to talk about it?
phy says:
I KNOW! we can play tic tac toe to destress
phy says:
or we can bitch about those virtual uno players
phy says:
or we can go to the bermuda triangle
phy says:
with our magnificient ship
phy says:
we can call it the tic tac toe ship
phy says:
or do you want purple pearl.
phy says:
or bubble tea pearls?!
phy says:
i'm here if you wanna talk okay:]
phy says:
or if u want to ignore the problem and pretend it doesn't exist i can pretend with you
i'm good at playing pretend

many thanks & gahhh, work later, tomorrow & the day after.

shilah the great

shilah the great totally don't know about her working schedule for this week,
as in didn't memorise like she used to.
& so for today, the great one assumed that she starts work at 6pm
but bloody hell, she supposed to start at 12pm!

& she was still sleeping at 1pm till the higher power called her.

seeeeee, told you i was great!
a great loser that is.
& there was munchkins donuts just now!

ai[shim maya] - sweets galore. =D says:
why not? XD
-*9mil shilah™ says:
yeahh .. lets be young again
ai[shim maya] - sweets galore. =D says:
yeap!!! i can still rmb both of us playing that canoeing thingy
ai[shim maya] - sweets galore. =D says:
last time
ai[shim maya] - sweets galore. =D says:
XD
-*9mil shilah™ says:
omgg
-*9mil shilah™ says:
and we don't even know what we were really doing lahh
ai[shim maya] - sweets galore. =D says:
XD... it was chaos
-*9mil shilah™ says:
lol anyhow paddle siaaaa

just paddleeee

the seasons change

you opened doors i closed, in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall within this bed of earth,
Just like a rose.


emo-ness be gone!

if you have three wishes

it's confirm with chop&stamp&signature
that i've chose events management for IS.
no more of me fickleminded-ling on what to choose

& it's proven once more than i'm one of the most kanchiong people.
why? let's see, my enrolment starts at 2pm but at 1.45pm,
i was already waiting right on the npal page. woots.
i'm well-trained, ya know?

people who owe me: cousin & junius.
cousin caused i had to wake up at 8am yday, to help her with her enrolment.
8am ehh! when i slept at around 5am. ( ohmygah! )
junius was today, since he said he'll buy me chocs for helping him so it's cool.

since now the timetable for the semester is all done & confirm,
left with buying of notes and shopping.
i want need new bag(s), shorts, top or whatsoever that's = school.
plus, i also want need to trim my hair. not to cut but just trim.
if only shopping for school is like shopping for hogwarts, will be damn cool.
imagine. owls, rats, new wands, cloak, culdron, broomstick. heh.

i have bad cravings for donuts, like seriously.
other than that, today was dead
& shilah almost died.

"where's the land i once heard in a lullaby?"

do you know what it feels like

It's sad,
How people lock themselves up,
In their own little world.

We lie to ourselves,
Say that everything's alright,
Everythings fine.

We wear the mask,
And act the part,
And say it's all part of the show.

We live in boxes,
See in darkness,
And speak in lies.

It's our world
That's where we live in,

Why should it change?

every step i take

specky weirdo! credits to jasmine's specky.

ehh ok.

i really really really don't like you :D
featuring pui yin.

guess who? guess guess guess!

went for supper after work & yup, talked bout some stuff.
long time no see, shi qi.
i wanna go KL, dammit. ass.
ehh ok fasting month i shouldn't curse so much
& my tendency of saying f-word ( ever so often ) came back.

there's black eyed peas concert in singapore soon!
with guest star the click five! omg.
"blue black & you"- the name of the concert.

alright, work tomorrow and timecheck: 4am now.
morning weird fantasies. ok that's sick.

hello mr. bartender

this is the end, of you & me.

shai, being a weirdo. ehh, i have an interesting video of him!
will upload soon. he would make a pretty cool bartender.

izzati & i look super weird.

touching up made easier.

when work gets abit too boring.

came to work and was shocked to see nora there.
hahaha, she came to visit & she seems happy with something.
which i think, it's better if i not blog it down here. personal.

the store was pretty packed for few moments as they stayed over for quite sometime.
eunice and rachel huen came to visit.hahahahaha.
do the normal stuff & was quite in a zzz mood for god-knows-why. whatever.

i wanna go KL to help out! but parents freaking don't allow me.
ahhh, the agony of having parents. ok, maybe it's not that bad afterall.
i'm so so so sorry naz.

alright there's work tomorrow.
& something is kinda wrong with me, i kept on thinking
it's one day before the actual day/date itself!
for example: currently today is sunday but i'll think it's saturday.


& i guess it's kinda impossible to know everything about a person.
but by trusting him/her, that's the best thing a person could ever do.
something like one step further.

before i go my own way i just gotta say,
leave me alone & get out of my face.

keep on watching

i think britney is kinda strong in some way.
it's like, she lost everything once:
career, family and not to mention her husband, k-fed.
all the paparazzi following her where even the smallest, slightest thing
she gonna make will be out in the tabloids & papers to diss her.

like come on, there's always some point of time in your life
that you'll feel the lowest of the lowest ever.
where everything seems wrong, thoughts of suicide kept on haunting you.
& you don't worth a shit anymore.
everybody isin't perfect & there's always up and down.

yeah, i know she's a star for goodness sake but but,
i like the way she made a comeback with new tracks.
and not to mention her comeback performance at the VMA awards
she lost her hotness too, like hahaha.
hey, i think she was hot in the past laaa, she's abit plum now
& her dancing isin't as good as it is in the past. ( but still hot )

but people tend to remember you for the mistakes you made
rather than the good things you did.

i like the way she handles thing for now, congrats.

work laterrrrrrrrrrrr.

there's no one else in the room

happy 12th birthday sis!
didn't do much today besides that sis went to cut her hair,
followed by dinner.

her hair scares me

there has always been a ghost in the house (haha)

before i die of boredom

sup?

oh yeah, she cut her hair but it's not that short la
kept on telling her to cut her hair short for once, but she disagrees.
& also, she has bangs now! hahahha, retroo.

met up with mum&dad who were there to fetch us for dinner.
dinner was good, didn't manage to take photo tho.
(didn't bring camera)

then then, at home now
searching for anybody to be in 2J1.
& ohmygod, there's alot of people i know in 2J1 laa

"bet you didn't see this coming."

semester 2.2 ahoy!

ok, timetable for the next semester is already out in npal.
credits to dune for telling me, sadly not in the same class tho

a brief overview for next semester:

monday will be 8am-5pm (omg)
tuesday will be 10am-5pm (omg omg)
wednesday will be IS-day & 26-sept will be registration date.
thursday gonna be from 8am to 3pm
friday will be 10am-12pm then followed by 2-hours break and lesson from 2pm-3pm.

errrr...yeah, just telling that it's a little weird timetable.
nvm, no complains. and oh oh, anyone in 2J1 ?!
i already found out 1 though: dune's friend who always shout "dune! i saw your tall friend!!"

-.-

insensitive

why do i make the same mistakes
over & over again?

working day-shift tomorrow.

it's best i'm left alone for now.

darkness in the valley, we can live like jack-and-sally if we want
where you can always find me.

this is bad

i can't sleep
i can't sleep
oh my god.

time check : 4.24am & i'm like some hantu finding something to do
i'm bored plus i'm boring. hah!

oh my god.
my eyes tired from playing playstation2 in the middle of the night
yet i can't sleep.

oh my god oh my god.
so weird, if only i can stay awake like this while studying!
something must be wrong with me, talking bout studying during semester break.
oh my god.

gonna make myself sleeeeeep!
(ok, that sounds abit wrong.)

2004-cut

i was typing my name in google (for fun lah, i was bored)
& so i typed: hashilah
cause there was 2 shilah in westspring and i'm hashilah.

ok anyways, i typed my name
and i found this:
"Then Hashilah accidentally cut herself..
the teachers brought her to don't know where niaz..
hope she okay le bahx..
then we inside our work place playing.."
blog entry of 2004! hahahha, omg.
& the moment i saw this i automatically looked at my hand!
i totally forgot bout the incident ?

funny incident where i can actually point my bloody middle finger while walking ?
ehh i want to do that again!

a little play

alright,
another week of holidays just passed.
not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

cousin visited yesterday afternoon, at about 12.
even though she sms-ed me the night before
saying she'll be coming in the morning.
12 is morning huh, cousin ?

she used my lappy to do some powerpoint stuff
caused her microsoft office went haywire.
go school helpdesk & ask before school starts k.
& the interesting thing is,
i was still sleeping while she was happily in my room using the lappy.
too tired

then joked about some stuff,
like how once we broke my mother's vase accidentally
& my mum would scream
"if any other vase breaks, i'm gonna break both of your head too!"

then compared results, blah blah. =\
went off to work while she stayed until 10pm to finish up her powerpoint. 0.0

alright, work later.
& i'm free on wednesday!
friday night would be having dinner outside since it's my idiot sister birthday.
plus, i have yet to buy her anything.

think shilah thinkkk !

if that's ok with you

you were there & you were scared.
you still showed it

tried to put it all together franctically,
but you broke it all over again.

you were scared & you still showed it.

i just cant do it.

the voice inside my head

maybe there's 2 type of people in some case,

1. who took ages/years to get over. (eg. 4 years)
2. who took a month/months to get over.

sooo, stop comparing and make yourself sound so perfect.
guys are so contradicting.

haiyaa, i'm so lazy to entertain plus i'm super tired.

anyways, i'm known by some people as the one who eats alot.
i eat alot yet, i can't grow fat
so don't anyhow blame me for being unfair.

come back & stop this pain.
i'm super tired.

my place

but it's no use.

i've already had my fair share of closing doors.
be gone, just go away.

i hate reality, i hate you
i hate myself even more.

i hope you understand

i feel so choked up right now.
why do we keep on doing the same thing over & over again?
i can't keep up with your expectations
i'm sorry.

release of results 2.1

hey,
release of semester 2.1 results is like in few more hours
to be exact 9am.

& erm, yeah hope to get a nice wakie-call from the sms service
rather than like some bloody shitty results where nightmares turns into reality.

hah, tell you something
the old shilah is soo much more promising.

& fuck that.
okok enough, it's fasting month, fasting month.

90's

The Veronicas- Everything I'm Not



Jonas Brothers- S.O.S

ehh die lahh, i also want cool siblings!
whois like musically-talented and can sing with me
a twin will be like super coool
then i can be like the evil twin or something like that

no worry, bellah is good. hahhaha

I told the Witch Doctor I was in love with you
I told the Witch Doctor I was in love with you
And the Witch Doctor he told me what to do
He told me

Uhh ehh uh ah ah
Ting tang walla walla bing bang
Uhh ehh uh ah ah
Ting tang walla walla bing bang

& had a great laugh with cousins about 1990's song!
i love the 90's lahh, cartoons vengaboys aqua & what nots.
when i was a mini-shilah & dancing around the house with them
skateboards, bikes & jumping here and there.
except to be reprimanded by parents time & time again!

omgg, i think i'm going crazy from boredom
oh ya, happy fasting people
SELAMAT BERPUASA!

1..2..3..4..5..6

One minute and the earth begins to shake
Two minutes and my heart begins to break
Another minute and you makes me feel brand new
That's just three minutes with you

Four minutes and you're everything I see
Five minutes and that's where I wanna be
Another minutes everything feels so new
I need six minutes with you

I wish I had a song on MTV
Cause in crowded room I'd be the only one you see

I wish that I was on the radio
I'd sing your favorite song you'd be front row at every show

6 minutes

mini-fied

didn't go to sentosa as planned.
i'm soo terribly sorry, azizah

been going home late
& decided to stay in just for today
to avoid myself from any unhappiness from both mum & dad.

so spend the whole day by watching movies, sleep, emo-ed & what shit.
1-day at home almost made me die of boredom.

was so bored that i actually started looking through old photo albums.
looking at old photos of myself was torturous.


moshi-moshi ?

i'm the cuter one! (right)
gonna kill my cousin the next time i see her.

1st birthday!

ok, i'm toothless on the front -.-

good to see life was great.





now make my darkness dissapear please ?

erased from this earth

maybe that's the saddest feeling ever,
not being able to voice out how you really feels
from every point you tried to see,
it's wrong in every single way.

caused i feel the loss,
you've won.

i feel sorry for you, shilah.

something random & out-of-point
release of exam results: 14 sept, 9am onwards through email & hp.

super random

i cant hold my head up high

i kept my mouth shut from the start
i guess i left you in the dark
you thought you knew me but you don't
you say you'll love me but you wont

i kept my mouth shut for too long
all this time you got me wrong
now we're in this way too far
i'm about to break your heart
tear everything we had apart

won't keep my mouth shut anymore

i'll make it on my own
i'll find my paradise

look, late nights won't do me any good
emo songs and bang! stuff will just come hitting me
shall do some running around the area soon
the need to hang myself upside down.

this is sick

holidays are such a bore, seriously
i've kicked terrorist's ass in cs, time after time
including myself being dead cause of headshot.
i actually played ps2 today

omg, when video games starts coming out
it really shows how bored i am

this sucks!
hope work will be good tomorrow
if not, i will really slap myself

oh yeah, happy birthday cousin anna!
i love her name lah, Andrianna somethingsomething
her name was the name of a ship my pirate uncle used
to ermm sail ? on the year she was born

the second oldest cousins whose birthday is on 8 september

i'm 18 so
why would i let all the fun end here?
i blew bubbles in the toilet while showering just now
HAHA

surprises scares me

shilah's day came & went off just like that!
poof!

thanks friends for spending the day/evening/night with me
i really appreciate it! :D
thanks to those who wished me on friendster/msn/sms-es
or even those in person!

nice catching up with the close sec sch friends during dinner
omg. the list gonna be damn long if i were to mention everything here!

& oh yah, i'm scared of surprises!
hahaha, i suck at that & i swear azizah is good at 'lying' lahh
nice way of making me disappointed, angry & happy at the same time!


first hit: Sorry shilah, i'm not coming (azizah)
second hit: ohh okae. i will be quite late. ur go ahead i will join later aye. (: (yishan)
third hit: huh. azizah not going? how how? hmm. i dont feel like going
noone acc. me. (janet)

i swear i was $#%$^%& by then!
dhiya was there & she actually listens to my blahblahblah!
no more pleasee!

& when they pop out, out of nowhere
i was blushing sooo bad that i turned red k!
i don't blush that easy

thanks faizah, siti & jan for coming !
thanks for actually coming down earlier with me to book & stuff
hahahahaha, and siti's shirt on banana oopps, was funny!

faizah, siti, jan & me!

you have no idea how difficult it was for me to take this photo!

janet the taitai & me

yishan & me

azizah the super good liar & me!

eh dhiya, the pic i took solo with you,
i look damn bad! hahahaha!

i ate some bean-sprouts & some green leaf thingy. tsk!
after much hanging around with them, off to town to meet shiqi

woooo!

thanks for the drink & birthday cake :D

uh-huh, we rock! thanks for the fcuk presents!

thanks for everything!
it was memorable indeed

:D

i'm still traumatised by the surprise by the way,
why did i even believe it was true? omgg

18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18!! \m/

1989

i'm 18 & soo...... ?
thanks to people who wished me "happy birthday"
even those who i just made friends with from langkawi!

updating more later.

hope you're good!

lonely september

worked today from 12-6pm with some new people.
jasmine was there far more early than me!
chiong ah.

i think i'm gonna be bored to death for the next 6 weeks!


i actually climbed into the kiosk!
caused there's this man blocking the entry as he was sitting
down doing something to the cashiering area there,
programming the camera! 0.0

soo, this is the face people get
when they called my name & took my pic w/o me knowing!

i think i'm have yet to recover from my sickness that i get during the camp!
been coughing since god-knows-when!

i look weird 0.0

You know the holidays are here
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of holiday time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

i miss the old crew ):

something interesting from the tracker of my blog

6-minutes

working tomorrow after like 1-week of being away!
new blackie uniform plus a weird hat

let me see, new spoons too!

noob lah shilah, never see new things before?
think will be going shopping in the afternoon aloneeee
afterwhich will be straight to work!

know how to find me people!
& you don't even need a map


rock your boat!

there are days when

if everything in life were to be great, what would you be living for?
if everything in life is easy, what would your dream be?
if life is fair, everybody would already be a rich man.

it's either founding out lies that made me colder to people today,
or maybe it's because i've popped the 4th panadol pill.

damn it

somebody please just give me something to do.
& some weird guy from bus 3 added me on msn,
who gave my addy, bloody hell.

2 out of 4 videos

pillow fight
azizah vs. janet


crashing janet's & yishan's room!

i still have 2 funny/hilarious videos with me!
i have problem uploading it

damn bandwidth lah
& sorry about my voice,
my voice went weird the moment we reach langkawi