nothing but lies

have you ever chat to someone and suddenly you thought of life?
then thinking about life indirectly makes you cry.

i just thought that everything around me is soo wrong right now.
even the simplest thing in my life is wrong.
I don't want to do all these, yet I'm still doing it.
lying to myself is wrong.

Life seems fake in everyway.
You're retricted to stuff around you.
Law, money, studies & can't even do what you want.
it will be worse when you tied yourself up with someone.
someone who's suppose to care for you, be there for you in everyway.
contradicting isin't it ?

that's why i want to be alone for now.
we're taking different roads of life.
i'm kinda scared that if i were to change my life plan right now,
everything will not work & i'll lose both.
if that were to happen, it will be my greatest downfall.

what do i really want in life?
i'm already as far away from my dreams now,
i cant risk it any further.
i need to make my way back.

i'm afraid i'll lose everything i've ever fight for.

god, please make me better.
i don't like the way i am right now.
i've done myself wrong
like how i've done everyone wrong.

i'm afraid of myself.